Commentary: Jackie’s Favorite Olympic Sports

Jeremy’s Commentary–

5. Opening Ceremonies

olympic_opening

4. Snowboarding

We have to complicate things by combining Winter and Summer Olympics? Really? Even though the World Olympic Committee realizes the prudence of separating them? Okay, then. Fine. Snowboarding is cool. But can you really compare it to beach volleyball? And will snowboarding be the least bit interesting without Shaun White? I don’t know the answer to either of those questions.

3. Sport Climbing

First time I’ve heard of climbing as an Olympic sport. I don’t care so much about the “you against the rock” thing (sorry Zach). There are many sports where it’s one person against…whatever. Like kayaking. Or golf. Or bowling. Or painting.

2. Curling

This activity was inventing by the Canadians. They wanted to play horse shoes, but there aren’t any horses in Canada. Also, the ground was frozen so they couldn’t stick pegs in the ground. Also, there were a lot of brooms lying around and they weren’t sure what to do with them. Really, the story about the creation of the sport is more interesting than the sport itself.

1. Synchronized Swimming

Synchronized anything is pretty amazing. My wife and I have been married for 16 years and we have yet to synchronize our circadian rhythms. Synchronizing a fancy dance is cool; synchronizing that same dance in the water is even cooler (pun!).  The most amazing part of it all is how they keep the water from flowing up their noses. That is a feat in and of itself.

Matt’s Commentary–

5. Opening Ceremonies

The sport of walking around with a flag in your hand? No one gets a medal for that. No one. This isn’t some sort of participation trophy thing is it? I ain’t for that. Show me some skill and maybe you’ll get medal for this.

4. Snowboarding

Snowboarding is for stoners and everyone knows it. Glad the Olympics is so accepting that they will even let those high on the reefer to compete. Perhaps the thought was that at least there is a bit of entertainment seeing an athlete compete on drugs. Oh wait, isn’t that all of the Olympics?

3. Sport Climbing

We Americans will make a sport out of anything. I remember in high school people trying to argue that Marching Band was a sport. Nope. Nope. NOPE. I was in Marching Band and while it required some coordination and physical skill, it isn’t a sport. Stop trying to be jock cool and be geek cool.

2. Curling

I once had a pastor who grew up doing curling in Minnesota and was psyched out of his mind when it became a sport at the Olympics. I am still waiting for Cornhole to become an official sport of the Olympics because that is literally my only opportunity of being in the games.

1. Synchronized Swimming

Synchronized Swimming is dead. Long live synchronized diving!

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