Commentary: Matt’s Greatest Disappearances

Jackie’s Commentary —

5. MH370

What’s unsettling are the two theories: an accident; a plane fire or somesuch, or a rogue pilot hell-bend on a suicide mission taking everyone else down with him. It really makes you wonder what happened in the cockpit, what conversations/struggles took place, if any. And all those passengers… LOST.

4. Amelia Earhart

“Flying may not be all plain sailing, but the fun of it is worth the price.”

Amelia Earhart

3. D.B. Cooper

gothamlies

 

2. Captain Donner

I have never heard of this story. The only thing I can think to contribute to this commentary is that when I played Oblivion I killed a captain and took his sword. I was searching his cabin for the quest item and when I turned back to the area where I killed him, HE WAS GONE. LIKE STRAIGHT UP *poof* GONE! Totally, sucks that his crew couldn’t toss his body into the sea and drink barrels of mead in his honor. Or maybe they did. Who knows.

 

1. Tupac

Snoop’s best kept secret.

yessnoop

 Jeremy’s Commentary — 

5. MH370

The only person who knows what happened to the planed and/or how to find it is Trump, and he’s going to tell us as soon as we elect him president.

4. Amelia Earhart

This one doesn’t interest me all that much. It’s cool that she was a badass explorer and all that, but the Pacific Ocean is a huge body of water, and it’s not all that weird that she’d crash and disappear forever. What’s weird is that she’d be working at  news station in Denver.

3. D.B. Cooper

Matt is not D.B. Cooper. I’m 90% sure about this. First of all, the hijacking occurred before Matt was even born. Secondly, Matt is alive and D.B. Cooper is dead. Thirdly, Matt’s name is Matt, and not D.B. Thus, Matt cannot be D.B. Cooper

2. Captain Donner

Maybe he spontaneously combusted? Was there a small green globule on the ground or in the bed?

1. Tupac

I hate to get technical but this isn’t a disappearance. I mean, it kind of is, but it’s not really the type of  disappearance we’re supposed to be talking about here. This delves into a different area of conspiracy theory that we can talk about on another occasion. Disqualified.

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