Commentary: Bailey’s Things That Look Better Than They Taste

Matt’s Commentary –

5. FLAN

First time I ran across flan was when it was being marketed in a tube via the Jack Black and Ben Stiller movie, Envy. I honestly thought it was a made up food but when I discovered it was real, I was like, “Whaaaaaat?” There is a Mexican dessert version of creme brulee? Imma gonna need to try that. This was literally me after I bit into flan for the first time:

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4. WALNUTS

These are like eating dried bark and don’t you dare add them to cookies. I will knife you. Not really but I will give you that eye.

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3. MACA POWDER

Not a food I’ve ever had but it looks like brown sugar to me, which is delicious. Based on a little research I conducted though (Thanks, Google) a radish like root grounded into the powder is not the kind of tummy party I am looking for.

party-in-my-tummy-o

2. TOMATOES

Come on, Bailey. The only time tomatoes are not as good as they look are in the fall and winter, so like right about now. They aren’t gross per se just not as awesome as they can be after soaking in the hot summer sun. A sun-soaked, garden fresh tomato off the vine is as good as food gets. You don’t want to mess with tomatoes. Trust me.

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1. COFFEE

Try better coffee. I would agree that the cheap stuff like Folgers and Maxwell House looks like a hot cup of enticing goodness but without a buttload of sugar or cream, it will go down bitterly and with many tears. Blake, Jeremy and I, all had coffee at The French Press in Aurora, CO this past Sunday (shoutout to The French Press, killer breakfast too) without any sugar or cream and it was a smooth delectable treat for each and every one of us. Proof that coffee can be as yummy as it appears with no additives.

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Jackie’s Commentary –

5. FLAN

But… I like flan. Like, I really like it a lot. Maybe it’s because we’re kindred spirits. Flan doesn’t know what it wants to be and, truth be told, I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, either. I mean, custard, Jello, sauce, cake when they’re all so good, it’s a lot of pressure to be only one. IT’S A LOT OF PRESSURE, OKAY?!

I can use this because I'm brown. And gangster.
I can use this because I’m brown. And gangster.

4. WALNUTS

I. Love. Walnuts. In banana bread, in salads. And, yes, I even love them plain. When I’m an old lady, I’m going to have a bowl of walnuts and a nut cracker on a little table next to my recliner and I’m going to binge watch 60 Minutes all day until the grandkids come over and then we’ll make cookies with chocolate chips and walnuts, all the walnuts

And walnuts love me.
And walnuts love me.

3. MACA POWDER

Gesundheit.

Maca Powder sounds just as offensive.
Maca Powder sounds just as offensive.

2. TOMATOES

When I started dating my now-husband, he told me I wasn’t allowed to eat a bag of chips for breakfast or brownies for dinner anymore. I broke up with him. And then took him back when he showed up with a bouquet of Twix and Starburst. But tomatoes were never something he had to convince me to like or eat. They’re one of the few healthy things, I’ll intentionally buy when I go to the store/farmer’s market/steal from someone’s garden. My favorite thing in the world is an avocado and tomato quesadilla. Still not sure what “on fleek” means, but avo & tom quesadillas are totes on fleek.

When you make banana pudding and then accidentally eat over half of it for breakfast...
When you make banana pudding and then accidentally eat over half of it for breakfast…

1. COFFEE

Oh. Hm. I mean. What? I don’t process or express myself well when I’m feeling deep emotional hurt so I’m trying really hard not to lash out in anger or uncontrollable tears. I love coffee. In that lusty, gluttony, greedy, hipster sort of way. I love the beans, the roasting process, the burlap sacks. I love coffee mugs, coffee makers, coffee shops, coffee people. I even love the sounds and smells of coffee in the making. The Sacramento area has some of the best coffee for drinking black; on its own. And I would argue that drinking coffee enhances the experience of the flan, scone or pumpkin bread, not the other way around. I mean, yeah the stimulant of coffee is cool but coffee itself… it’s a beautiful, beautiful thing. PS: Shout out to Valiant Coffee Roasters. Shout out to that fourth wave coffee train. Shout out to whoever started #blackcoffeematters. Because it does.

My brother-in-law is a coffee roaster. Legit.
My brother-in-law is a coffee roaster. Legit.
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